The Day After | Where grief stories connect us
At The Day After, we believe in the healing power of shared stories. Through our podcast, we create a safe space where individuals can find solace in others' experiences with grief. Having walked this path ourselves, we understand the profound isolation that follows losing a loved one. We're building a compassionate community where every story matters, where healing happens through connection, and where no one faces grief alone. Join us as we navigate loss together, finding strength and understanding in our shared journey.
The Day After | Where grief stories connect us
Dreaming of Dad: Kennedy's Story of Love, Loss, and Healing Through Therapy | The Day After Ep. 14
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In this episode of the The Day After, hosts Ashley Infantino, CJ Infantino, and special guest Kennedy delve into the profound impact of losing a parent and the journey of navigating grief. Kennedy shares her heart-wrenching story of receiving the devastating news of her father's sudden death through a series of phone calls, and the chaotic aftermath that followed as she and her family scrambled to make arrangements amidst their shock and sorrow.
As Kennedy recounts her move to Chicago, initially feeling a sense of exhilaration before the weight of her father's absence set in, she emphasizes the importance of seeking therapy to cope with the overwhelming emotions and fear of a potential breakdown. The hosts and guest explore the various ways in which Kennedy's father continues to be present in her life, from vivid dreams where they argue, reflecting her anger and grief, to family members receiving messages through mediums and encountering signs of his presence.
The conversation also touches on the challenges of planning a wedding while mourning the absence of a parent, with both Ashley and Kennedy sharing their experiences and the ways in which they have sought to honor their deceased parents throughout the process. Kennedy's touching account of her grandmother's last words and her fiance's mother's dream encounter with her father highlights the deep spiritual connections that can transcend the physical world.
Throughout the episode, the hosts and guest discuss various coping mechanisms and the importance of allowing oneself to fully experience and process the emotions associated with grief. Kennedy's story of personal growth and resilience in the face of adversity serves as an inspiration to others who may be grappling with similar losses, reminding listeners that healing is a unique and ongoing journey for each individual.
Interspersed with moments of levity, such as the anecdote about offering cake to a stranger in traffic and the surprising presence of a spiral ham at Kennedy's wedding, this episode offers a raw and honest look at the complex nature of grief while ultimately emphasizing the power of love, family, and the unbreakable bonds that continue to connect us to those we have lost.
For more, go to thedayafter.com, or join the conversation online and follow us @thedayafteronline.
You can find our hosts at:
@cjinfantino
@ashleyinfantino
Music by Servidio Music
I think, in order to start, I need to give a little backstory about who my dad was. So my dad, his name was Bob Hart. He was a larger than life human being in all aspects of the nature, like a very large man, but also just like his personality just superseded his being. My parents got divorced when I was in middle school. So at some point, just due to life events, me and my two older siblings moved in with my dad full time. And my mom moved to Florida. We were in Ohio at the time. So if you can just picture most of my teenage hormonal life and beyond was with my dad, my two siblings, two puppies. You know, he was a working dad taking care of all of us and it was chaos, but like in the best
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:And he, he loved all of us so deeply, but uniquely, you know, we're all different human beings, me and my two siblings. And he just had such a unbelievable way of showing up for each of us. So that's my backstory of my dad. I'm sure I will share more about how amazing he was. So he he passed away April 27th of 2019. So we just, we just hit the five year mark. It's not an exciting five year, but it's a milestone. Nevertheless he passed away from a heart attack, Which was kind of inevitable I think just based on his lifestyle choices. And how he took care of himself, or lack thereof. It, it, it was always a fear of mine, and I think of a lot of my family members. And then when it happened, it was like, I don't know, it just, it almost felt like, Oh, well, no shit, this is gonna
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:So he died at 54 years old, which sucks. I know. And I think the craziest part is his dad, so my grandpa, also died very young from a heart condition. Which then leads to, I'm sure that you both are, have that concern of, you know, Is that a condition that will then be carried down through us as well? Is that like a lifestyle thing? It opens up so many doors of unknowns that's just like not necessary to think about when you're 22 years old, but nevertheless, yeah. So the two days before he passed, I looked him in the eye and I said, we have a very candid relationship. This is maybe not something someone would say to their father, but we were, we were very close. And I said, you're going to die.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Wow.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:And I am going to be the one who said, I told you so. And that was two days before he
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Holy shit.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:wow.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Yeah. And it, I think that just shows how, and like, it just, I think he got to a point where we realized, and he looked at me and like, I think he, he, It was admitting defeat at that point, you know, so The The morning of his passing well, I guess we don't necessarily know what time He was acting so erratic. I I don't know a lot about heart attacks I don't know if you all do but apparently it's very normal to kind of be acting differently. And now that I know that And I was so annoyed with him because he kept me up all night because he was just like screaming nonsense in his sleep And I So I, I was going to Chicago for an interview and I was like, I'm going, I'm going to FedEx and printing out my damn resumes and I stood at the bottom of the steps, his room was upstairs and I almost went off to say goodbye, but I didn't because I was so annoyed with him from the night before. And I don't regret it because we've hugged and kissed so many times in our lives that like one chance. You know, isn't going to like break it. But I do regret not being the one to find him. Because once I got Chicago, you know, five hours from Cincinnati, we realized he wasn't answering his phone. It's very strange in our world when he's talking to us all 24 seven. So my sister had to go down and she was the one who found him. So
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Are you the oldest of the siblings
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:I am the
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:the youngest.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Yes. I am the youngest, the baby of the family. My sister is the oldest. My brother's the middle. And I think, I was recapping all this with my husband last night and it's so funny because so many details are just crossed and everyone has a different recollection of what happened or, and maybe, or just details just like kind of got forgotten and just the events that then like led to a funeral were just so chaotic and I, I laugh because I feel like grief, like no one knows what the fuck they're doing. And I think, I laugh because I feel like grief, like no one knows what the fuck they're doing.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:Yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:like, I've never had a dad die before or a parent for that matter. And it's just so many conversations that probably could have not happened. And it, I look back with a lot of, like, I think it's really like a really funny time after that. And I have a lot of love for it. I think my only regret is I was so encompassed by shock and grief that I wasn't able to be present. But it was, it was a very. Interesting time at 22 to be living with your father and he
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Yeah. What made you say to him, you're gonna die and I'm gonna tell you I told you so.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:For so many years. I think he's I think he struggled after my parents divorce and like anything when you're a parent raising three kids and working full time and Taking care of two dogs at some point something has to go and I think taking care of him Himself was never a priority because we were always first but at some point, I mean, we're all very self sufficient people. Great. Thankfully. And I don't, I think it just got to a point where like, he, he just, he, it just, there was so many just glaring, like you can't, you can't walk properly and you're having a really, really hard time sleeping. And it just, it was really hard for him to like, keep it together. And it was very obvious when you saw him that like, he just was not feeling his best.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Yeah, that makes sense. It is hard to so I, I'm a solo dad to three kids to do well, we had two dogs as of last year, one of them died, but like, it is very, very hard to keep up with everything. And to keep going and to prioritize self. So I definitely can
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:hmm. How old are your kids?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:1514 and 11.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:are getting to the getting to the good
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Yeah. Yeah, my daughter will be 16 next month. So
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:no
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:it'll be,
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:God bless. Godspeed.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:but her and I actually have a very similar relationship, very candid. She says
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Good
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:similar shit, like not, not exactly what you said to your dad, but like, she'll just say whatever she needs to say and similar. So, so it makes me laugh. When you said that now you said the funeral was. Crazy or leading up to that. Would you be able to explain more about that?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:yeah, so If you picture this my Dad died in cincinnati I'm in chicago my brother's in michigan You My dad's whole family is in Northeast Ohio, like four hours away. So it's like, it was like a rat race of like, who can, how quickly can you get to Northeast Ohio? And like my now husband was in Denver. He was flying in my, one of my best friends is driving me from Chicago overnight to Cincinnati. They're like handing me off to each other. And it, I laugh at it cause it was just such a Like, you just never know what, where people are going and I just, if you were to track how many people were coming in and out just to get to this funeral, And then like people are calling saying, you know, make sure he's not, you know, getting embalmed in Cincinnati. He has to, and I'm like, I know he's not going to be buried in Cincinnati. He will make it. I don't know how he made it to Northeast Ohio, but he did by some beautiful human being who Carried him there. I don't know. And then it's like, and then you just start like the process. So you have a week, a week with family to like, kind of sit and process and people are coming in. There's so much food. Except I couldn't eat a thing. And so you're all just sitting there and just like crying and then a new person comes and you start crying again. And then you have to like pick out a tombstone. I was like, I, he doesn't give a shit about what his tombstone looks like. And then they're showing you caskets. And I'm like, which is the cheapest?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:Yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:The one thing that I was really adamant about, I don't know why. I was really adamant about doing the eulogy for my dad.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:Oh, that's amazing.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:I, I don't know. I just, I felt like there's so much that's to be said. And there was a lot of people who wanted to speak for him, but, That was like the one thing that really got me through the week is I didn't have to focus on burying my dad. I was like focusing on not fucking up a speech
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Yep.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:and it was a really nice, like, Way to kind of not focus on everything and I felt really good afterwards because I was like, okay, that's done And then I was like, oh fuck my dad just died.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:You mean after you gave the eulogy?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Hmm.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Yeah, and then it was like well Now what Yeah well And it was my dad and I At home. I mean my sister lived in columbus at the time. And it's just like he has so much stuff and you have to go through it And then of course it's there's also like memories of when we were kids and so there's like everyone has a different pile You What do you want to keep? What don't you want to keep? There's a lot of finances you have to go through, lawyers. And I, I, reached a point, my now husband stayed with me a week. He said that that was probably the most unhinged I've ever been. And he said that he, which is fine.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:I mean, there's so much to go through there. I mean, I've been there's this company called Empathy that they kind of help with that whole process. They've built like a platform I think and like some of the stats that they share it's just like the like the amount of accounts that you have to close but like in order to close those accounts like if you don't know the password then you have to like do this and do that like I can only imagine how how much time that takes like You To close one account because I, I mean, I have like a shared bank account with my fiance and the ability like to get to like, like the, like home equity line of credit. It's like technically only in his name. And it's like, it's impossible. So it's like closing a cat, like all of that And like having to handle that. In just a state of like trying to grieve and see family and not see family and like continue life and interview for jobs is like fucking chaotic.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Yeah. And I, I'm glad that there's companies out there who are making it easier because it's like kind of complicated to die in the United States. It's lots of paperwork,
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:just die. It's not the end of you actually.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:No.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:and like even to like terminate cable or wifi, you have to send a death certificate. And it's like, Okay, Verizon. You don't need that. And, and, it was a very just it was so chaotic and of course in that time I'm staying in the house that he passed away in and his house is a very creaky house. It could get spooky if it's dark out. So I think once my husband went back to Denver, I was like, well, I have to stick this out. Worst case, he shows up, you know that'd be kind of a nice thing as if my dad's ghost did show up. I made it one night and then the next night I tried so hard and I went to like four hotels nearby. They were like booked out for some tournament. And I slept there. And then finally a family friend for two weeks, I would show up to their house at like eight o'clock, I would sleep, and I'd leave in the morning. I was, it was just a sleeping house, and they were, they were very kind. It was, that's probably like one of the only things that like got me through, because I think I would have lost my mind.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:I want to go back real quick before we, before we move on, what, what happened? How did you know? What was the call? Where were you? What was going on when you got that
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Yeah. I will say that I knew something was wrong when I got to Indianapolis, which is probably halfway between Cincy and Chicago. As you? can tell, we always were in contact with each other. And especially when I'm on the road, it was, you know, I made it to Chick fil A and no response yet. And I was like, that's odd. So when I got to Chicago, I didn't hear anything. I said, you know, maybe his phone fell between the cushions. Maybe, like, it was like, I was like, there has to be some silly story behind why he's not answering. And I, I'm so glad because that night, I was staying with one of my friends, Robert. We decided not to go out. I'm, I'm so glad we never, we did not decide to go out. We stayed and we watched, of all movies, Inside Out. Have you seen that Disney movie? About emotions and stuff. Yeah, of all times, very kismet if you will. And my sister texted me and said, have you heard from dad? And I was like, oh shit.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:And you're in Chicago now?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:I'm in Chicago now. She's an hour and a half in Columbus. Cause I thought maybe he's just mad at me. Cause I was like telling him he was being annoying last night. And so like another hour went by. And she said, I'm just gonna go drive and check on him. I said, okay. So it was like an hour and a half of waiting. And, you know, my, I'm texting my current, my husband at the time, or boyfriend at the time, husband now. We'll just call him Kevin. We're gonna call him Kevin. His name is Kevin. And I was texting, and he was like making up, you know, like, oh, he probably went out, forgot his phone in the car. And I was telling Robert too, cause I, and he was like, you, are you okay? And I was like, I just, I'm a little concerned. And as soon as I saw my sister call, I was like, and I answered the phone and I, I thought she was laughing. That's how hard she was crying. And I was just like, okay, you have to call 9 1 1. You know, I don't just tell you, you have to call 9 1 1. There's nothing you can do besides just call 9 1 1. So I don't know if I, I think I got a second call from her saying, you know, 911 just came. I think they took the body at that point. They tried to revive him. So his, I was looking at his death certificate yesterday. His death time says 11 something at night and it never did an autopsy. So I'm like, I don't know exactly when he died, but did he die before I left? Did he die, you know, quickly before my sister got, who knows? And it was, it's, it's so funny how things just like ricochet. Okay. Immediately the phone calls you're getting, I don't know how people found out. And the phone calls that don't go to me, but go to Robert, who I was staying with and Kevin across the country. And people just trying to figure out like, what are you going to do? And so I, I called my mom and I said, Hey, look, dad died. And she was like, what are you, you're kidding. I was like, why would I be kidding? And you know, that's actually funny. I texted my friends, like my best girlfriends. I said. Guys, my dad just died. And when I finally like talked to them in person, they said, we thought you're going to say he like died of laughter that like he made it there. We were waiting for something and then they were like, Oh wait, he died. And so I guess there is a, a way that you could misinterpret those words. And so I, you know, I, I call my mom Robert called Kevin and just said, Hey, like, I don't know what to do. And he was like, I'm booking my flight from Denver to Cincinnati right now. I'll be here there tomorrow morning. And Robert said, all right, I'll drive her back. So Robert popped in my car, made the longest five and a half hour drive back to Cincinnati. The first hour was just fielding phone calls, both of us, because he's getting calls and like threats from people saying like, don't you dare like get in an accident. You have to get her to Cincinnati. And, you know, I'm getting phone calls from everyone else. And what do you do in five hours when you just found out you're, so we listened, we had different hours, we listened to different music, like power hours. It's like the only way you can make it to Cincinnati before 4am. So a lot of DMX was played at one hour. Maybe not like the songs you would think to play after your dad died, but you kind of make it through. And then the next day, yeah, we, I drove Robert to the airport. Kevin jumped in the car and we went straight to four hours again. 15 ish hours in the car in like a 48 hour span. Yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Damn. Alright, so you get through the funeral, you get through the eulogy, you get home, well back to your dad's, and you get through that period in life where things get kind of worked out, staying in other people's houses, what does that next step look like for you? Oh,
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:I was already looking for jobs in Chicago. I knew in January that year that I wanted to leave Cincinnati. I was trying to make things work with Kevin, you know, find a central location, cause I didn't want to move out west. And he said, if you find a job and you move to Chicago, I'll meet you there. So it was like, I kind of had to do the work first. So, I knew after he passed that, that that plan did not change. It just was a little expedited. So. so. I was faced cause I, as much as I could have stayed in the house, we had to sell the house right away. You know, you have to get everything out. It was, it was a process. And having someone live there during that is not easy. So I went, I went to Chicago, I think one other time, had a couple interviews and I got a job, accepted it. Robert, I ended up moving back into the apartment. With robert where I found out that my dad passed and that was a weird time And I at that point I kind of was really high on life because I was like fuck it Nothing can touch me like the worst thing ever happened to me. It can only go up from here and also, that's when like everyone is just supporting like that support that you get in the first couple of months is just It's so important You And I was just like, this is it. Like, like this, I'm doing great. I moved to Chicago, my dad died, that sucks. But, I, it's all gonna be okay. And then of course, you know, that, that goes away eventually. So there's the support, and like the constant, like, I don't know, like the checking in on, on you. And then, the dust, the dust settles, and you're like, oh fuck. And like, no, he's actually gone. And I think, I, I went to call him every single day after work. And I would have to remind myself, I felt like I was in 50 first dates. Do you remember when she's like, they have to like watch the video every morning. I would wake up, I was sleeping on an air mattress in Chicago. Cause I, it's a long story. I wake up and I would say, okay, my name is Kennedy. I live in Chicago. My dad died and I got to go to work today. And I was like, okay. And I would just like pull myself together, go to work. My lunch breaks were spent dealing with lawyers or calling family members. Or like, filling out paperwork. And then, eventually, when Kevin did move, it was about September, so a couple months after, I felt like, okay, now I can breathe, I have like, that support that's gonna be like, there, you know, full time. And that that was when I was like, okay, I need to go to therapy. So yeah, that's when I journeyed.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:to go?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:That's a good question. I, my original call to my therapist was, I'm so afraid. Of like having a breakdown like a breakdown to where I can't get out of it Not just like you're crying uncontrollably And I don't want that to like creep up on me and then I just like lose it My therapist i've been with my therapist for since that september of 2019 been through a lot and what's really Interesting is that I would say in the five years that i've been with this therapist We've talked about my dad maybe 20 of the time Isn't that interesting? The other 80 percent is just all the other shit that you just never talk
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:And it relates, maybe, but maybe
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Was this your first time at therapy?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:It was.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Yeah,
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Yeah. And I got lucky by striking out with my first one. I know some people have to, like, date around and find therapists they like. But yeah, my therapist is pretty great.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Yeah. It is super. I was gonna say super important. But what I really meant is like, as soon as you start peeling one layer back. It's just this big spaghetti noodle mess of like, Oh, fuck, everything's intertwined. And I'm going to pull on this one. And it just keeps going and going and going. And then you're like, fuck, there's another path and you just keep, you just keep going. And it's, it's never ending the self exploration and introspection and trying to figure out how shit relates. And, but it is, it is interesting to me that there was something in your subconscious sets or even in your conscious that was like, We got to get our ass to fucking therapy or this isn't going to go well. So like, even though life felt okay, things were going, you were getting a job. You're in Chicago. Kevin's coming to move in. There was something in you that knew that this could not be sustained.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:And I think there were so many changes that happened right after. I mean, like Not only did my dad die, but I quit my job, got a new job in Chicago. Like things just like shifted so much and I don't do very well with change. And I could feel like that high was starting to come down. I was like, Oh no. And I probably wasn't being very honest with myself. Like I was like, we're good. We got this. And I think that at some point I was like, I don't think, I don't think we got this. And therapy, I will say it's a beautiful, wonderful thing, but. It is a very long journey. And I am nowhere, nowhere near done the healing journey. By any means.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:I think I'm 20 years into mine and there's still just so much just never fucking ends because we just keep acquiring trauma too. All right. So it's, it's like you're, it's a dog chasing its tail. So, you're in therapy, you're going through all of this, And, life does what? Like, in those first few years? What happens?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Well, right after the pandemic hit
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:Yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:So yeah. So, so yeah, September of that fall of 2019 was kind of, that was, that was the end of the glory days in Chicago for sure. In terms of, I mean, now you have to get reservations everywhere and there's, we're still recovering from. But I ended up getting a cat, and I'm not a cat person.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Okay.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:So that was really confusing. I don't know what happened. My husband still is confused, but we adopted a cat and I think it was because He he's an accountant. He's in busy season from january to april And I didn't want to be alone In my our at the time we were living with robert too, and he's also in busy season So I was like, I need like a being with me and I can't Like I get to get a cat. So we got our cat Moomoo and then the pandemic happened and we moved actually back in with my in laws now Kevin's parents in Pennsylvania. We spent about four or five months there. I mean, cause Chicago was shut down.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:And there's nothing to do. Besides sit, you know, and work in the house. So, we, we co existed in that house for five months, which I think was when I was finally able to sit with myself, I was in a safe environment. There was absolutely nothing to distract me and I was still going to therapy virtually, and that's when things just like really not unraveled in a bad way, but like I was able to, to actually focus on myself a little bit. Yeah. And throughout the year, lots of just like moments where I was like, I'm not fucking okay. Like I, I'm not okay. I'm not going to be okay. This sucks. And thankfully I have a lot of support from Kevin and his family. They just kind of like, let me be whatever terror that came out of me that day. They were like, okay,
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:But I think that that can't be like, overstated enough, right? Like the idea of coming to a place where it's like, I'm just not fucking okay. And like having the ability to say that because it is. It can be very challenging. And I think there is a potentially a common response that people have of just like, well, I'm just going to keep going. I'm going to keep going. I'm going to keep going. And you eventually start to numb out in weird ways that don't feel like you're numbing out. Maybe you're not using substances. Maybe you're not like doing the stereotypical numb out. Maybe you're working more. Maybe you're just like constantly battling these thoughts of just like, I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. Literally. like numbing out in the sense of not allowing yourself to feel. So I think that's, that's fucking beautiful that you're able to come to that place and just be like, I'm just not fucking Okay. In letting yourself feel through that. So what happens after that moment?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:well, that was 2020, you know, we went through hurdles in that year. I mean, just as a country, as a nation, as a world a lot of really beautiful things happen though. Like I feel like the time we were able to get and realize like how we wanted to spend our time. I think that that really helped in like the relationships that were worth risking your health to go and like, you know, relationships that weren't. Eventually, I got to a point where, you know, we're back in Chicago. We only lived there temporarily, but it felt like eons at times. And, and, then it was, okay, I just survived my dad's death. We're kind of in a pandemic still. There's a lot of uncertainty and just like fear. A lot of gratitude that my dad didn't live through the pandemic because he would have hated that. And then it's like, Kevin and I were going to start our life together, you know, like we're gonna, like we got engaged, which was like amazing, but also like very sad at the same time. Just like my brother, Kevin, love him. He asked my brother for my hand in marriage. You know, it's like the, the the patriarch of the family, I guess. And it's just, it's one of those things where you just always expect them to be there. And My dad was a hopeless romantic and we talked about my wedding a lot. And so actually we got engaged, you know, and it's like coming to terms of, okay, you have to have a wedding without your dad there. And not only that, you're going to have a very long engagement because of all the backups of all the COVID weddings. So you have to think about this damn wedding day for so long. Which sucked. That sucked. Like I've always pictured my dad walking me down the aisle. And I think he did too. And it's just my brother did his best walking me down. I'm kidding. He did a good job. So it's tough shoes to fill. But I planning a wedding when you're missing somebody that important. We missed, we had a lot of other people, you know, who've passed throughout the years, but there's no one quite like my dad. And he had five rules for things I had to have at my wedding. I didn't put any, I didn't put any of them in. Yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:way. Why?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:my gosh
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Cuz they're so weird. So the first The we're we're my dad's Italian. His whole side of the family's Italian. Then we have the traditional dance, the Tarantella. Have you heard of it? It's an Italian dance. It actually was created to ward off spiders. No one knows the Tarantella anymore.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:No,
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:at our weddings and we're all
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so you get it. The other one was that we had like a secret handshake growing up, my dad and I. You know when you get out of the pool and you're so cold, like things are just so extreme when you're little. He would wrap me in a towel and we would do a kiss on the cheek, a kiss on the cheek. We'd rub our nose together. We'd blink our eyelashes together and then we'd give a big old kiss. And he said, when I walk you down the aisle, I'm going to do that. And then I told my brother And he was like, I'm not doing that. So, and then the song that my dad wanted, we wanted to do together was, isn't she lovely? Bye. My dad loves Stevie Wonder. And I just didn't feel right dancing to it Cause it's like my brother was with me and it was like, it just seemed a little vain. So we, we, we analyzed songs. He chose a different one. I can't remember what the fifth one was. Or the fourth one was, but the fifth one was that we had to have a spiral ham.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:What the fuck? Okay.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:That's what I'm saying. Yeah. So after he died and I got engaged, I was like, okay. So I called my mom and she was like, I don't know what you're talking about. I called every family member and they were like, this has never been a tradition. I'm not a big ham person. I'm not against it.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:I hate him so much. It's the worst fucking meat to put on a table, in my opinion. Yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:So we didn't do that.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:I just like, how amazing though would it be if that one was just to fuck with you?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:I probably was.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:And like, he's just watching, just like laughing his ass off.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:I wish, I almost
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Yeah,
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:I know. Heh
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:I know. Well, if you've seen always sunny, I always thought of like rum ham. I was just like, Oh,
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:ham. Oh, man, I love that show. It's so good.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:it is a good show.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:So okay, So you're you go through this super long engagement, you get married the wedding, I can't even imagine having to deal with the duality of like, intense excitement and then intense sadness because it's front and center. And you've been kind of living this life without him now. Like when did you guys get married years ago?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:We got married last year, 2023.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:So very new.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:Because they have the COVID backups
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:yeah, the COVID backup, but I mean,
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:to get through.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:That's wild. That's
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:That's a long time
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:a long time to
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:Yeah. I mean, my fiancé and I got engaged in January and we're like, yeah, we're gonna do like a secret ceremony in September.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Yeah. I
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:to wait until next summer, but I don't want to have a wedding. I'm kidding. That soon. Like I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I can't plan a wedding that soon basically,
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:No, you can't. You can't.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:but I don't want to wait to get married. So
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:That's cool.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:yeah,
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Ashley, what are you, are you like, what are your emotions with like your mom, not being able to be at your wedding?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:Yeah, I feel like, I don't know that it's like really hit me yet. I don't think, like, I think it's too new in terms of the engagement. But I did go dress shopping this weekend. And I I actually, like, wrote a post about it today, but I feel like, like, it was obviously bittersweet because, like, that's where, you know, she's supposed to be, like, that's, like, the once hopefully in a lifetime experience. Well, it doesn't have to hopefully be a lifetime, but you know what I mean. So, but I, I like made it my own thing. Like I just put a lot of, like, I was very intentional about like my two best friends and I invited all my best friends, mom, who, when I went down to Atlanta to go dress shopping and when I was living in Atlanta, like her mom, like, They always took us out to dinner. We always got our nails done together. So I just was very intentional about like the day and like people coming for it. And involving just people that I wanted there. Not that I didn't like want my, my aunts and like grandma and stuff like that. It's just, I'm going to involve them in like the dress fitting. So, and honestly, I like really thought about like, okay, like I'll go with my friends for this part. And like, for like the reveal, like when, you know, once you get the dress in, like all involved. Like my grandma and my stepmom and my sister and my aunts. So I kind of just like really thought about the process before, so that I like was like expected, you know what I mean? And wasn't like just kind of like on a win win. And I kind of purposely did it without too much family there because I didn't want it to be like super emotional. Like I'm trying to like find a dress that I really like and that's already a stressful thing because you know, like, I'm not the skinniest person in the world. And I just never find things that are, you know, dress like Just getting dressed and like finding clothes that I like is like a hard thing enough So I didn't want it to be like this extra emotional thing and it was still kind of emotional But I was like just very intentional about I knew that it could be it like a triggering moment if you will And making it a very special thing. So I like made a weekend out of it with my friends who I don't see all the time And I feel like in that respect like it was even more special because yeah, it looks different But you know life does fucking look different for all of us Like Like you said Kennedy like we always think they're gonna be there and then they're not You And we got to roll, like we do at some point after like roll with the punches, you know? So, it's probably been a thing where like it's built up, like, I've been with my fiance, like for the last three years and we've kind of always talked about getting married. So it's like, I feel like in a way I've like been priming myself for it. As, as like getting married became a real thing. We don't really want to do like the traditional, like, Wedding sit down meal kind of thing. So I also feel like that will like temper the like emotionalness of it. But it's still going to be like very emotional come, you know, come, come the day of, It just inevitably is. But my, my fiance lost his dad when he was younger. So we both are kind of going through just navigating that. Right. And it kind of like, in a way, that's probably why we want the same exact kind of wedding because we're both, you know, we're, we both know what it's like, but like that one person's not going to be there. So yeah, it was, it was interesting. I have to say.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:So you mentioned when you first were staying at your dad's house after he passed about like, I'd be fucking cool if his ghost shows up. So I'm curious, have you ever done anything in the spiritual realm? To contact, to find out any symbols or signs or anything of that nature that allows you to reconnect with your dad.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:So the short answer's no, The long answer. My dad comes to me in dreams and not in like a cute, loving way. We scream at each other in my dreams. Like, we get in the biggest arguments about, I don't know, and I, I, a lot of my grief is anger. So I think that's, that might be like how it's manifesting, and like, I work through, like, shit in my dreams. I have very vivid dreams, and we just yell at each other. So, still, yeah, still to still to this day. And, I remember when it when it happened after he passed, I was like, this is annoying. You couldn't just come and say, hi, I love you. We have to like bicker and it's it's kind of like telling of just how our relationship is I mean, we never scream at each other but dreams just are different I have had family members on my dad's side go to see mediums and allegedly My dad comes to us through dropping pins
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Okay.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:Oh wow.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:And the only thing that I can explain is in my past two apartments, I'm in an apartment so like you hear random crap all the time. We did have like, we've had these like unexplainable noises where it sounds like someone's like dropping a phone charger or something.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:Hmm.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Could it be it? I don't know. But there's two times where my dad did go to someone in a dream, very deliberately. And, yeah. It's almost, it's frustrating he never did it with me, but The first was in 2019 on Christmas. My grandma on my mom's side passed away. And my parents were divorced. So, you know, my dad didn't necessarily have, they had a fine relationship, but you know, like anything, like, he divorced their daughter kind of thing. The couple days before she passed, Kevin and I and my brother and his now wife went to go see my grandma. And it was very much like we knew it was like, this was it, this is kind of like the last thing. And I asked to be alone with my grandma and I just was crying in her lap like everyone does with their grandma. And I said, when you get to heaven and you see my dad and she cut me off and she said, I already spoke to him.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Wow.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:I said, what do you mean? And she's on like, she was on a, like oxygen. So like the fact that she was talking a lot, I was shocked, but she looked, she was like, he came to me. He told me that he will be there waiting. And he thanked me. So my dad thanked her for taking care of us, you know, and loving us amidst all the divorce and all the madness. And then he said, I'm sorry. I went before you.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Mm.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:And so, and then she, she just, she went to sleep or something. I'm sitting there staring at her like, what the fuck?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:Yeah. Wow.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:And so I'm, tears are streaming down my face when I go back in the kitchen and everyone's looking at me and I get in the car, I'm like, Kevin, you would not believe what my grandma's last words to me were, and I told him and he was like, what, and even to this day, like, it's just such a, and so that was the 23rd of December, my grandma passed on Christmas morning. So I'm at Kevin's parents house Christmas morning of the 2019 and we're at the kitchen counter eating cinnamon rolls like everyone does on Christmas morning. And my mom texts me saying that my grandma passed away and like, just to give her a call. And so like my face went white and his whole family, they're so loving. They just knew. And so I was like, I'm just going to excuse myself. So I went upstairs, call my mom and I'm crying on the phone. Kevin comes up to console me. And I was like, okay, we need to like get on with our day. Like it's Christmas. I'm not going to like ruin everyone's Christmas. And he was like, I need to tell you something. And I was like, what's wrong? He goes, I need you to sit down. I said, okay. He said, I just talked to my mom and she's afraid to bring this up to you because you're clearly very upset about your grandma passing. But last night she went to sleep and she felt this like great, bright presence. And your dad showed up and he said, Liz, will you take care of my daughter? And she said, of course. And he said, I need to make sure that you're going to take care of my daughter. And she said, of course, like I would, I will always do that. And she said she, she was overcome with like this unexplainable joy and he left. And then next day my grandma died.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Holy fuck.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:I know. And I was like, where were you in my dreams? Why didn't you come to me?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:I don't get dreams of my wife either. The only times I did, it was she never would talk and it was always just scary. Very scary.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:I've only had like one. One, one really vivid one of my mom and like, maybe others, to your point CJ, where she was in but she wasn't talking.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Mm.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:I always found interesting, because it's like, it's not like, I don't know, it's not like she like, died, cause, like, and couldn't never talk, You know what I mean? Like, I don't know, like, it's just weird, like, obviously in the end, I'm sure that she wasn't talking, like, on, on her deathbed, but I've literally only had like one Vivid one that I remember and like I remember I mean I I woke up and remembered it hours later So it was like the most vivid and and it was like three years three years ago, I think So I was like it took me 20 years basically to get a fucking dream So Kennedy maybe I'm 15, I don't know
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:right? You still got time. You still got time. Yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Oh man. CJ, did your dad ever come to you in a dream?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:No, but the, the short story, the long story short, I eventually went to a medium last December. Did you? Okay.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Very interesting.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:fucking wild. And now I Get stuff from them all the time. Yeah, very consistently. Once I open myself up to it.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:You might need to share
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Yeah, yeah, definitely we can, we can talk about that stuff after but like it's, was, I do not regret at all going. And I also don't regret that it took me? so long to be ready to go.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:Yeah, I think you got to be ready. Like you just have to feel ready and
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:yeah, yeah, you can't,
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:they don't tell you like, like bad things. I mean, I guess they could tell
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:So I mean like there's, there's health. mediums, Right. Like my buddy went to a health medium and they tell you everything that's wrong with you. Like I couldn't handle that. I'd fucking crumble and
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Oh, no, no.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:But yeah, like to your point, Ashley, like they're not going to be like, Oh, they hate you and all that stuff.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:I mean if anything I could see them being like, like, I don't know, like with your dad CJ, like, oh, he, he feels remorse for like how things ended or something like that. Yeah, Whereas like, but that doesn't, that's not like, a bad thing. That's like telling you how that person's feeling about, you know, I don't know. I, I just can't imagine how they're going to give you like the worst case, worst news ever, but you definitely have to be ready.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:And his personality did come through, like, you know, Uncle Chuck and, and he was, the medium was saying all these emotional things and like, You know, just like these very private things and then he started laughing. He was like, you know. The medium says is like they have, they are in spirit now. He's like, but sometimes they're I forgot their physical body personalities come through and your dad saying this is too fucking emotional right now because my dad was not one to express emotion at all. But Yeah. so, so, but it, what I'm most interested in, With you Kennedy is that like you've you have had these these experiences around you and then you've had these experiences in your dream. So it seems like you are open to the possibilities that spirit is still with us. And my only encouragement would be just keep following that. Keep following the curiosity as you feel comfortable because I think there could be some some pretty fucking cool shit. That could happen and that you could experience, you know, besides just the yelling at each other,
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Yeah, maybe we could yell
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:right?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Yeah. Yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Exactly. Exactly. That's So funny. So aside from all of that stuff, are there things that you do to just like, just for your own, like groundedness and peace of mind to connect with your dad to be like, okay, I just want to remember him right now. Do you have any of those rituals or things that you turn to?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Yeah, my first thing, I know this sounds so strange, but my dad was a bigger man and he had just like, large t shirts. And I don't know, Ashley, if you feel this way, but sleeping in like a big t shirt at night is like, way better than any pajamas you could ever have. So I sleep, I have like, seven, I have one for each day. I sleep in one of his t shirts at night. It just feels like it's like a big hug from him.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:Yeah, that's amazing.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:So I kept all of my wife's clothes so my kids can have them.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:exactly. I love that. They get to pick and choose like which ones their favorites are. What they remember. And other than that I write a lot like not to him but just like about him. It's just like, for myself. There's pictures of him all over our damn apartment. And I'm sure Kevin maybe is like slightly concerned but it's fine. laughs laughs laughs
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:to you. So he's going to have to deal.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:I know, I know. I
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:Honestly, He had three years to get out and he didn't
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Exactly. He had plenty of time. Plenty. Yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:and I was like this with my dad before he
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Hmm.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Kevin just like signed up for
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Yeah. That's amazing. So where do you feel you're at right now in your journey with grief, with therapy, being married, getting through all of that, you're like, you're on your way. Where are you at with all of it?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:That's a good question. I will say unpopular opinion. I love grief. Grief it's such a. It's a powerful thing. Once you understand, like it's your body. Like when I was described grief by my therapist, it's your body. Can't feel all of those emotions. When someone passes all at once, like we would spontaneously combust. So it's our body like going through and processing one at a time, maybe two, depending in like, it's a very long journey, but it provided me the opportunity to like, continue to live my life. And like find new things while, and like not like crumble up and die. So I, I, I, try to like listen to the grief and just kind of like let it, when it comes, it comes. And there's days where it's very random. And there's days where it's like, okay, I know this is going to happen. Like the day, like, the anniversary or something. My only fear is that with my memory and like, with trauma, You just kind of lose those details. So I, I really don't want to forget that, especially like if I were to have kids one day, I'd want to be able to share with them who their grandpa was but I don't, I don't know. I'm just kind of like taking it day by day. I'm in therapy every other week, and my husband is very supportive. I think that the, the one commonality is that like I wouldn't be able to go to therapy if I didn't have a supportive home system. and So I don't think it's a coincidence that I started therapy, like right after Kevin got to Chicago. And as I've evolved over the past five years and, you know, he's helped me kind of grow and move through things, it's really comforting to know that, like, I could be sitting here in my apartment and go back in time to something really, really, really bad and come out of it and go to bed tonight. And so I'm just hoping that I can keep doing that. And I, I hope that I can find more of a community. I love your guys podcast for that reason because I feel like, hearing different people's stories, even if it's not like their father passed away, you know, death is similar but so different and so complicated. It's nice to hear how people coped, how they didn't cope, you know, situations that they were in, in case I'm ever in those situations or if I, you know, ever experienced someone who's with that. And it's not like a two way conversation. For me in my seat when I'm listening for you to it is, But it's just, it's kind of like nice to be like, listen to people who kind of get it. Like there's times where I'm talking to people and like, you can just tell it's going, they care really, really deeply, but it just goes over their head and they don't know what it's like to get a phone call that your dad passed or, you know, what it's like to get all of these sorts of situations. So ideally in like a perfect world I'd be able to like have sit down conversations with these people but For now your podcast will do and I will say you guys have very podcasty voices like very good Radio voices. There are some people who have some very bad voices for podcasts. So I wouldn't give that compliment to everybody.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:take it. Yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:As long as I don't have a face for radio and we can
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:too.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:You
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:so do you have any advice would be your advice? Anybody in your shoes? What's the one thing that you would tell them?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Ooh, I'm going to have a very controversial opinion and I'll give a backstory first. When, after my father passed away, I had a few friends reach out who also had lost their fathers, you know, over time. Dad's die early, I guess. I don't know. and one of them told me like, you have to write to them every single day. Like don't lose, and they weren't saying it like as a requirement, but they're like, don't lose that connection. And so I was like paralyzed because if you guys have you ever tried a journal it's like similar, but almost worse So and I when I finally started therapy I was telling my therapist like I just feel like a lot of like Shame that I can't even sit down and talk with my father anymore And they were like why do you feel like that. like cuz cuz so and so told me that that's And they were like, Oh no, no, no. That just works for
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:Yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:So my advice to anyone going through this is find what works for you. I know that's so cheesy,
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:It's great.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:Yeah,
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:but in whatever works for you. Yeah. It could be different from like day one, like whatever gets you through like each day and it can change over time. Like allow yourself to feel things. Allow yourself to like tell people Like don't fucking touch me. Don't come near me. Like be batshit, do something crazy. I don't care. You'll get out of it. You'll get through it. I wish someone told me that right away. Cause, and, I think that people expect you to grieve in, in, you know, in a box. And like, this is like, people want to put you in a box when it comes to that. And it's, it comes and it goes. And there's just a lot of nuances based on like, who you are, who the person was, and where you're at in life. So like, and maybe go to therapy,
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:if you want. If you want though.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:I think, that's like the comparison, like comparison is like comparing is like so toxic
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Yeah. I agree. Yeah. Comparison is the thief of joy. And in this context, joy would be healing, I suppose, or whatever version of healing looks like for somebody in grief.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:we are starting this new tradition that we want to ask everyone to share their favorite memory of their loved one
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Oh, boy. Okay. I have to pick one?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:All right.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Alright.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:you want.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:I'm gonna do Okay. I tell this story a lot and it's just like so apropos of like who he was. When I graduated high school, we had a graduation party. And my grandma's in Northeast Ohio. My aunt is an incredible baker. She, she, like, what's, what's that one show that used to be, where like they've made fancy cakes, whatever. She was on it one time. She made a cake for LeBron one time. LeBron James.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Okay.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Yeah, she's, she's like very legit. So, she made my graduation cake, which was awesome. And we obviously had leftovers on the way home. So it was me and my dad in the car. I was, you know, senior in high school, about to go to school. And it was a two lane road back to Cincinnati and it was stop traffic. Just stop for like miles and miles. And, you know, we're in a small car. So next to us was a semi truck. And my dad said, wrote on your window and ask him if he can see. And I was like, I'm not asking this guy. And he's like, well, you have to ask him. So I wrote on my window, waved. And I said, sir, like. Can you see what's happening? He's like, yeah, there's a power line down like across the whole road. That's like four miles. And like, they're like on his radio. He could tell it is really another hour. And I was like, okay, thank you. So I rolled my window and my dad's sitting there and he goes, I'm kind of hungry. And that's something he would say, cause he was kind of a bigger man. And I was like, We have that cake. And he was like, we have nothing to eat it with. So he was like, we got, we got the cake and we're looking for anything. I think we ate with pens. Like we like cut it with like a pen and we had napkins. And then he's like, before we dig in, we should offer it for that man.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:Oh, my God.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:And I was like, dad, I can't do that. And he was like, no, you can. So I rolled down the window and I waved to the guy. I said, Hey, It's going to be a while. Do you want some cake?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:Oh, my God.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:And he was like, yeah. And he had his own plate and fork. So he gets out of his truck and I was like, which piece do you want? and he like kind of, and I was like, my hands are clean. I promise. He gets back in his truck and he's eating and we're eating our cake and we're all laughing. Cause we're in traffic, you know, and we've been on the road for like two hours, and we're just all eating cake
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:hilarious.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:yeah, that's just, That's who he was
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:from a stranger. I'm just saying there's no chance.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:You know, I think
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:And I would.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:it was, I yeah, I, that, that's probably not a good lesson I should, you should tell like, my kids or anything,
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Well,
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Don't get out of the car and
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_ASHELY:not.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:take it.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:Yeah. Like people were
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Ten years ago.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:back then. It's okay. That's awesome though. That that's, that's a great story. What kind of
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Yeah.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:it? Was it chocolate, vanilla?
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Okay. So I think it was like a, like a strawberry almond. Like it was very fancy. Yeah. I, and I might've been like two tiered. It was, she did my, like all my desserts for my wedding and stuff. And everyone was like, this was, where'd you get this from? I'm
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_CJ:That's awesome. That's awesome. Well, Thank you. for your time. We appreciate you being here and for sharing dad with us and sharing kind of your journey. we are very appreciative that you're willing to come on. And thank you so much.
s2ep14_kennedy_demoss_KENNEDY:Thank you
