How Ginger Chose Her Human: A Tale of Love and Loyalty with Kristin | Sit, Lay, Rest Ep. 1

In this episode of The Day After, hosts Liz Egler and Ashley Infantino engage in a heartfelt conversation with guest Kristin. As the first installment in their series "Sit, Lay, Rest," which is dedicated to pet grief, the episode revolves around Kristin's experiences with her German Shepherd dogs, particularly focusing on her first dog, Ginger. Kristin shares the emotional journey of choosing Ginger, the ups and downs of pet ownership, and the eventual heart-wrenching decision of saying goodbye to a beloved pet. The conversation touches on themes of loyalty, companionship, and the unique bond between humans and their canine friends.

Listeners are introduced to Ginger's personality, her protective nature, and her role as a "Zen mom" at dog daycare. Kristin also discusses the challenges they faced with Greta, another German shepherd they briefly had, and how Ginger's demeanor changed after Greta left.

The discussion expands to the grief of losing a pet, as Kristin reflects on Ginger's decline due to neurological issues and the decision to opt for home euthanasia through the organization Lapse of Love. The conversation delves into the complexities of pet grief, comparing it to losing family members, and the lasting impact pets have on their humans.

Kristin shares how she honored Ginger's memory, her involvement with a local animal shelter, and eventually adopting another shepherd, Violet. The episode touches on the healing process, individual approaches to grief, and the unconditional love and joy pets bring into our lives. The hosts and Kristin emphasize following one's heart and intuition when coping with grief and the inevitable advice from others.

Overall, the episode offers a poignant tribute to Ginger and highlights the importance of pets in our lives, providing a mix of touching memories and insights into pet ownership and loss. 

Tune in to listen wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

kristin: 0:14

So, Ginger was our first dog, and she was a German Shepherd, because I always loved German Shepherds. So probably not the right dog to start with, right? Not knowing anything about them but she was, she was my girl. When we went to, when we went to the breeder to look at the puppies, I was sitting on the floor, there were nine puppies. I think there were five boys and four girls. And I was playing with them all and this little tiny fluff ball came walking up, looked at me and leaned against me and I was like, that's the one. Like, she chose me, and I was like, we're taking her home.

Liz: 1:04

Kristen, that's so funny. My family's first dog, like our, our family dog, Shon, she was a German Shorthaired Pointer. Oh, beautiful. I was a kid when we got her, and we went to the breeder. And I think there were more than nine puppies in that litter, but the reason she came home with us is one, because they had nicknamed her Miss Piggy. And two, because she fell asleep on my mom's feet. And it was just like, yep, she chose us. Yeah. Isn't that amazing how they do that? It

kristin: 1:42

is. It is. And she, and the breeder was like, she's really chill. She's not your normal. neurotic shepherd. She's, she's just going to be like very quiet. And I was like, okay. So we brought her home. We actually brought two puppies home because then my husband was like, well, I want one too. Oh my gosh.

Ashley: 2:06

It's like,

kristin: 2:06

okay. So, he ended up getting another female and he, of course, picked the alpha, so it was not a good match. Greta, that's what he named his, his puppy she ended up going back to the breeder after like 10 days because she was just so brutal to Ginger. She would She wouldn't let her eat. She, anytime Ginger would go into her crate, Greta would go in and kick her out of her crate. She would bite her ears. Like, and I was like, we can't have this. So, unfortunately, it, it was a hard decision, but we had to call the breeder and they're like, yeah, no problem. And as soon as Greta left, Ginger became her own person. Like, it was really sweet. And we had her for ten and a half years. She, she would go into daycare because, uh, we were both working at the time. So she would go and she was the, they called her, the, the zen mom because she kept order if she saw anyone, uh, another dog bullying another dog, she would go and break up the fight. She didn't really, she was like a protector. She didn't really play with other dogs. She was more of an observer. Mm hmm. But I was her human, like from the start to the very end, like Kevin would come in from. Doing anything and we would joke around and I would yell ow and she wherever she was She would come flying into that room and stand between the two of us and just look at Kevin Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Don't touch my woman Yeah, and then I retired in 2017 so It was just me and Ginger and like she was my shadow. Wherever I went, she went. She's a very sweet girl to most people. She, she didn't care for my in-laws too much. Oh. We had some money. Right.

Ashley: 4:14

Did she, did she pick up on some, on some unlikeness that you had for them?

kristin: 4:20

Well, that's what they always assumed, but I was like, I didn't think I was doing that too, too obviously, but unspoken discomfort. Right, right. Dogs know they do. They do. Uh, whenever my mother in law would laugh, Ginger would go right up and be like, Uh uh, quiet. I don't like your laugh. So, she, she was, she was a really good girl. She never destroyed anything. Right? That's amazing. She, from, we still have her first toy from when she was a puppy. Like, she never destroyed toys. Wow. She did not go up on the furniture. She, you could leave a bag of treats on the floor and walk away, and she would just sit there and stare at them. Gosh, that's unheard of with puppies. Right? And the only thing she would do, and it was hysterical, is she would, she would jump up on our dining room table.

Liz: 5:19

She slept on the table? Yeah. That's interesting. When we were at

kristin: 5:23

home. Yeah. Like we, we would pull into the driveway. Say we were out with friends. We'd pull in the driveway and I'm like, I think she's on the dining room table.

Liz: 5:33

Did she have a good view of like out the windows from there? Yes. She's, she's

kristin: 5:38

watching for you. Yeah. But yeah, she, she loved the dining room table and, and she never hurt it. Like she would just like. Up onto the table. It wasn't like a run and a jump. It was from like a sitting position. She would just hop up and that was it. So

Liz: 5:54

did she do that all through her 10 plus years?

kristin: 5:57

She did.

Liz: 5:58

Wow. That's great. She did. Because I know German Shepherds often have back hip issues,

kristin: 6:05

right?

Liz: 6:05

Uh, as, as they age. Yeah. Just given the way their, their spine's structured. Did she have any of that?

kristin: 6:12

So she did not have any hip issues, but what. What brought her to the end was and we had found out, so one day I was sitting in the dining room doing some, I don't even know what I was doing, and she always laid on the floor next to me, and when she laid down, her head went thud, and I was like, well, that doesn't seem right, and then I would watch her, and like, she could never just set her head down, it always, So, that was like for two weeks, so then I called the vet, and at that point, like, we had to carry her in and carry her out. Mm. And they said it's definitely, uh, neurological she declined quite quickly it was from, let's see, Memorial Weekend in May, and then she she passed on June 11th, so it was a very short time span. Wow. Wow. But we did take her to Orchard Park Animal Hospital and they have, they have a neurologist for dogs, a neurosurgeon for dogs, which I was shocked that that was such a thing. But yeah, you know, it was good. So they did an MRI and what it ended up being is she had multiple herniated discs in her neck.

Liz: 7:43

Yikes.

kristin: 7:43

Yikes. And it was causing her to, like, we would be out for a walk and her front right paw would kind of trip her up sometimes, but it got to the point where she would just fall. And then with the head hitting the ground, uh, and then she couldn't go up and down stairs anymore.

Liz: 8:03

What did the, did they say about the herniated d like, do you recall her getting injured at any point that would have caught us at, or was it just like degeneration?

kristin: 8:13

Yeah, I think it was just degeneration. There wasn't any one or specific incident. I mean, she, she loved to run, she loved to chase, you know, catch. balls and frisbees. So it could have been any one of those times. So what was really hard was when the neurologist called the, or the neurosurgeon called us to say what the issue was. She, she said, you know, the good news is, is that it's not cancer or a tumor of any sort. And I said, okay, what, What is it? And she said it's multiple herniated discs in her neck, and I'm like, well, how's that good, right? Like, yeah, you can't fix her at this point. And that's painful, too. I would assume. Very painful.

Ashley: 9:06

Sorry, Kristen, how old was she at this point? She was ten and a half.

kristin: 9:10

Okay, sorry, I messed up. So we got her at eight weeks and She lasted until 10 and a half, which was,

Ashley: 9:17

that

kristin: 9:17

was pretty good.

Ashley: 9:18

Our German shepherd lady just turned 11 and we're like, Oh my. That was honestly a big part of the reason. I mean, it wasn't, it wasn't like the reason, but like Nate was like, I can't go another year, like, I can't miss another year of her life because I know we're getting towards the end. Like, we're very lucky she doesn't have any of the hip dysplasia or anything like that. But when you were talking about how Ginger liked to be, like, up looking out.

Liz: 9:44

Oh my

Ashley: 9:44

god, we have a bench at home in Buffalo and she sits on this bench all day. And the funniest thing is that she's like this 90 pound dog. And the bench is, like, tiny and every time people see her on it they're like, She's really comfortable in that. I'm like, yeah, it's her spot. I don't know. That's her spot. She's gotta be looking out. And she doesn't, she does not bark unless it's the male lady or we're not home and then she is guard dog like no other.

Liz: 10:12

Yeah.

Ashley: 10:13

But she sounds, Ginger sounds a lot like Lady in the Sunset. She's not like I don't know, she's not like the crazy shepherd, she's the very docile, very lazy, just like, we bring her anywhere, we really don't have to have her on a leash, I know some people use people for that, but like genuinely, she's not moving from our side, like, if, if Nate disappears, she, she's like, what's going on, like, where is he?

kristin: 10:38

Like, where's my, my pack is broken up, what happened? Yes, yeah, like

Ashley: 10:42

this is unacceptable. It's so nice how

Liz: 10:44

committed they are, that's why they're such great pets.

Ashley: 10:47

Was it like a fast? Decline from like getting that phone call to You know, ultimately when you had to send her over the Rainbow Bridge, so to speak.

kristin: 10:57

Yeah, so I'm trying to remember when we got her in. I do know I was upset with myself and I was upset with the vet because when she said, You know, she's got these herniated discs and some are new and some are old. She's like, but I don't recommend surgery. And we said, is there anything, can she, can she, can she still live a good life? You know, like what's, and she said, Oh yeah. If it was my dog, this is what I would do. And so what we ended up finding out is she wanted Ginger to be in her crate for Like, six weeks without having to move on, they wanted us to put her on, uh, prednisone but not until she started eating again. So that was the other thing. She had stopped eating and drinking. And I really, I look back at it and say, had I asked the right questions? When we were talking with the vet as far as like quality of life and how, how do you expect me to put a ten and a half year old dog in a crate? For the whole day for the next seven weeks, like that's

Liz: 12:22

what kind of a life is that?

kristin: 12:23

Yeah, like She we never created her When like she never got into trouble. So the crate would have been very foreign to her.

Liz: 12:35

Mm hmm So what did you end up doing for those last so for the last few?

kristin: 12:43

I think we brought her home from the animal hospital on a Thursday and that Saturday we called Lapse of Love, which is a

Liz: 12:56

home euthanasia.

kristin: 12:58

Yeah. So we called on Saturday and Because we said we can't, I mean, she's just suffering so much, like I was sleeping on the floor in the foyer with her at night because she couldn't go up the stairs. Yeah. And and I loved every minute of it, but I was also like, I can't believe, you know, this is gonna be it. Mm hmm. So, Lapse of Love, we called them on Saturday, and then on Sunday, they came over. Uh, Dr. Michelle was phenomenal. We carried Ginger's favorite bed outside into the yard because she loved being in the yard and Kevin carried her out and put her on her bed and we waited for Dr. Michelle to show up and it was so beautiful and so peaceful and it's, like, we got to be with her through the end of it and she was at home, which was beautiful. Yeah. It was fantastic. And she was in her favorite place. She was out in her yard and, uh, but it was way hard. And with us it was so much harder than I thought it was going to be. Yeah. Same. Friends of ours, once once we let them know that she had passed, they sent us this book called Dog Heaven. Have you guys ever seen it?

Liz: 14:23

Mm hmm.

kristin: 14:23

I have. I have not. So, I still haven't looked at it. I can't look at it yet. Kevin, Kevin read it after, uh, a little while after she was gone, but he said, don't do it yet. And it's been a year and a half and I still, I'm like, nope, I can't look at it. I can't do it. Someday I will but it's, it's supposed to be super beautiful it's illustrated beautifully and Kevin said it's like, it just, it's very touching. Yeah. It was, it was, uh, it was an extremely difficult decision to make but we were glad that we could be with her and you know, it's just one of those things, like it's just. They're with you for such a short time. Yeah. And it's so hard. Like, I, I, I think my one sister and I were talking about this, and this may upset some people, but, like, our, our dad had passed in December of, uh, 2019. And he was at home. He had hospice at my parents house, and we were with him through the end, and my dad and I were, like, super close, and when he died, it was, it was a peaceful event because it's the way he wanted to go. But I still, you know, it's my dad now. But when, when Gigi, when we made the decision for Gigi, honestly, I, part of me felt like that was harder than losing my dad.

Liz: 16:00

It's a complicated feeling because for me, I felt with my dog, Isabelle, I felt very grateful that I had the time mm-hmm. To like properly say goodbye and be with her. In a very peaceful and, you know, non painful way, say goodbye to her, but at the same time you're choosing to make a decision to say goodbye, you know, and, and that decision for at least weighed on me, even though I knew it was the right thing for her and, you know, and the home euthanasia that, that I used. She was wonderful and very supportive and I'm so thankful for that. But it, it's, you know, just making the decision to do it is one of the most difficult decisions and it feels, I felt guilt just deciding to do it even though part of me knew it was right, you know? Right. And I think because You know, for some of us, they're like our child, like our first child is our dog, and we spend so much time with them. Part of it feels kind of wrong in deciding to end their life, even if they're not well. Right. You know, so it's just. And then you're, and you're sad. So there's just so many layers of emotion around it.

kristin: 17:32

Yeah. So after, and, and like I said, Dr. Michelle was amazing. I mean, it was so, she did it with such dignity that it was just beautiful. And but like the next morning it came downstairs and I was just like, what do I do now? Right? Yeah. Like,

Ashley: 17:53

so much of our routine, like, is, they're ingrained in so much of our routine, slash, drives so much of it sometimes, you know? Right? Like, even, I feel like even when people talk to us about losing their humans, it's like, But I had to get up to feed my dog or my cat you know what I mean, like they, they help you put one foot in front of the other on your very bad days and even on your good days, you know, like, okay, maybe I don't want to do today, but that like,

kristin: 18:23

they do

Ashley: 18:24

home without them is like, so, so hard. We wanted to do laps of love, but unfortunately Lily had like. Uh, like, she, it was the most insane thing to witness, but she had a seizure. We knew we were gonna, we, we knew we were getting to, like, the end, but long story short, like, Nate had been away for army training, like, for, like, the two weeks that she was kind of, like, declining. And so, it was, like, the, I think the weekend we got home, he got, we got, he got home, we had all these visitors. And obviously you're not like saying, please pause, we'll be right back. We just got to go put our dog down. You know, like the vet was like, you really should do it like soon. And I was like, at that time I was like, this isn't my decision to make. I think she was very confused. Like why I was at the vet when it's the dog, but I was like, like, this is like his, you know, like it's our dog, but it's his dog. Like, so, oh my God, that was but I will say like, we, we kind of look back and like the, her last full day. She was just in her little Christmas sweaters napping under the Christmas tree all day while I was working and Nate was working and doing some things on the house and She just like was so peaceful and I was like, I felt a lot of comfort just from that Right her, you know having that seizure and we just had to like rush to city creatures And I have to say they were very good Like it gave me like a whole new. I don't know. What's the word? Not perspective, but like just thankfulness for them. Yeah, that's the right phrasing, but I I was like, yeah, I'll come back here forever It's great people exist. Yeah to help the situation. Yeah, they had seen Lily a lot in her final days and they all like remember her and like and again like I don't know if someone like went in the back and was like Lily it's Lily like make sure you say something to them, you know, I mean, but regardless like They were on top of it and like, everyone was kind about it. I don't even know if we paid. Like, like, there was, which, you know, like, it's not cheap. I can't remember what it was, but you know, all they did was like, did you want, you know, her paw? Do you want a lock of hair? And all that stuff. So, like, they really did. I feel like we got, like, what we would have gotten from Lapse of Love. And, and, In retrospect, like, I might actually go to them in future simply because I'm also, like, slightly worried about having that in my house. Yeah. And then having to, like, look at it to remember. Like, you know what I mean? I don't know, like, if I, I know it'll be, like, if it's in, If it's in their spot, their favorite spot in the house, like, do I want that to be like the last memory? I don't know if you felt a certain way about that.

Liz: 21:02

I definitely still look at this section of my kitchen because it's kind of like its own little alcove and I'm constantly, especially right after I had to say goodbye to her, like in the following weeks, I was definitely just standing there, like standing and crying. And so I can understand not wanting to do that in your home because then you're constantly like having to. Kind of relive it over and over again, which is not necessarily the best way to heal. Depends on who you are, I guess, but you know, sometimes it's better to just move forward as hard as it is.

kristin: 21:40

It did take me A while to move her beds. So she, she's definitely a spoiled girl. So she had a bed in the living room, the dining room. All right, I love it. The family room. Yep. The office and in our room. And I came down the next morning and I just sat on her bed and just cried. And just Kevin came downstairs and he was like, Oh my God, are you okay? I'm like, I'll be okay. I'll, I just need this right now. Right. Like I need to feel her.

Liz: 22:19

And did you say it's been a year and a half since then? Yes. Yeah. How, how long did it take you to start kind of putting her things away? And what did you do with her stuff? So,

kristin: 22:34

it took me, oh, I'm trying to think. It was in June, June 11th of 2023 when she crossed over the Rainbow Bridge and I couldn't go back to the shelter right away, so Ashley and I volunteer at the city animal shelter and we walk the dogs and I was like, I just, I don't know if I can do this just yet. And I, I ended up going in maybe like three weeks after she, she had gone. And I thought it would be good, right, like, because I just love dogs, like, I just love them, and I thought, you know, this will, this will help to fill the void, and I ran into another volunteer who I was, who I'm good friends with, and she just looked at me, and she started crying, and I'm like, ah. Please don't do that. There I go. Right? Like, I haven't even walked in yet. And she's like, I'm so sorry. And I'm like, no, it's, you know, and it was great. It made me feel really good that she was there and that, you know, she was caring for me. But I went in and I, I, I walked one dog and I had to leave and then. Kevin, we had talked about when should, when do we think we can get another dog, right? And Kevin said, I, I think I need to wait a year. And I was like, I cannot wait that long. Like that's, it's just not, not gonna happen. Yeah. So once we made the decision to get another, and we got another shepherd, her name is Violet. Aw. She Kevin found a, a breeder in Dansville, New York, and that's when I, as soon as I made that commitment, that's when I was like, okay, I need to wash all her beds. We didn't throw anything out. We washed. Everything, all, all five beds, all of her toys her blankets, everything, like we still have her collars, her leashes they're, they're all packaged up and then. We got Violet and then Violet decided she didn't like any of the beds.

Liz: 24:57

These aren't mine. These are someone else's.

kristin: 25:00

Exactly. And so she systematically shredded each one of those beds.

Liz: 25:05

Well, isn't that nice? She's the total opposite of Ginger.

kristin: 25:09

Total opposite

Liz: 25:09

of Ginger. Tearing everything

kristin: 25:10

apart. Right? Which is, it's good too because I never wanted to compare. You know, the kids at all. I wanted them to be their own individual, and Violet helped by saying, I don't think you should have this here anymore. Right? That's nice.

Liz: 25:29

I, part, I have not gotten another dog yet, it's just been over a year, and honestly I'm not ready yet. I miss having a dog, but I'm not ready to move on to a different character yet, you know? Gotcha. Yeah. I, and I will want it to be a different character, obviously, like there is no, I'm not. Isabelle will not be here again, maybe in another form. I don't know if I'm lucky enough. That would be amazing. But yeah, I'm not ready to welcome a dog with a different personality yet. Yeah. I think that's a big part of it. It's like, you have to be ready to, you do take on whatever personality comes along. Right. Yeah.

kristin: 26:14

And it was interesting. So, like, So, Ginger died in June of 23, and we, we had Violet in October of 23. Okay. And, and he, he was not warming up to Violet. He was like Kevin. Yeah, Kevin. He was like I need to see how this is going to go. So you know, give it

Liz: 26:41

time, right? Develop a new relationship.

kristin: 26:44

Yes. And now it's so interesting because Violet is, Kevin is her human. So I was, Gigi's human.

Ashley: 26:53

You need another one. Violet needs a sister. That's what I

kristin: 26:58

said. And Kevin was like, no. It's like maybe not just yet.

Ashley: 27:04

Yeah, we have, uh, Lady is, like, Nate's, Nate's her human, and Molly, like, she's my whatever, you know what I'm saying. That was, that was like very, that, that actually is probably the only thing that helped is coming home to two dogs still.

Liz: 27:21

Yeah. Yeah.

Ashley: 27:22

Like, it was, I think we, I think I'm like, we will always have two. Because I literally cannot imagine Like not coming home to one at all. Yeah. You know and and like it was still such a It was still like, so weird because, uh, like, in her, like, final years, she was deaf. So we would come home and she wouldn't know that we were home. So we'd always have to go around and be like, where's Lily? And she'd be in a deep sleep. And we'd have to be like, Lily, we're right, and then she'd wake up and get all excited. So it wasn't like she came running to us, but like, it was this thing where, and you, both of us kind of like did it when we came in the house, like a bunch of times, like right, right. Yeah. Right after. And then sometimes, like, Molly or Lady, mostly Lady, would, would kind of, like, alert her, like, they're home, let's go, like, get over here.

Liz: 28:15

Uh, yeah, I think maybe when I, the next one I get, you know, I have a three year old daughter and she's obsessed with dogs and cats, I mean, all animals, but. She's always been, and I think it's because, you know, when I brought her into this world, Isabel was here. Yeah. And she used to crawl into, from the moment she could start crawling, she was in my dog's bed. We have so many pictures of her crawling into Isabel's bed. So the next dog will, will be her dog. And I think that'll be, I mean, obviously I will end up taking care of the dog most of the time. But, it'll be her dog and I think it'll be different in that way because yeah, you know, you'll be getting a companion for her probably Which I think is so important. Obviously, they make a huge impact on our lives.

kristin: 29:00

They do. It's so funny because Kevin and I just got so used to gingers I call them isms because, you know, the doorbell rings and she would like bark her head off and go charging towards the front door. And then a doorbell would ring on TV, like in a commercial or in a movie, and she would freak out again, like those little types of like that, that's just what she did. And when she was gone, we still kind of, when we heard a doorbell or somebody knock, we would just like cringe, right? Like, she's going to bark again, like. And that's, that's how much she was in our lives. It was just like, you know, you're just, even though she wasn't there, you still had the same reaction of, okay, she's going to go crazy.

Liz: 29:53

Oh, totally. I still have moments of where I'm out and about and thinking about, I need to go home. And then I'm like, wait a second, I don't have to do that anymore. And part of me is like, oh, I really love the excuse of I gotta go home and take my dog out. You know, I don't have that anymore. But I, I still catch myself and that's not the only thing it's, you know, I, I still walk through the grocery store past the dog treat section and look at the treats that I got her and think, well, you know, I don't have to buy those right now. But my brother has two dogs and he's the same way. He'll never have less than two dogs probably for the same reason you said, Ashley is like, I can't imagine. Him ever coming home to a house without them without them. Yeah. Yeah It's just not for anyone who's grown up with dogs, especially it just loves Animals it is a different. It's definitely a different home. Obviously like my house is much cleaner now, but You know, that's probably the only thing you know, that's probably the only benefit everything else is kind of missing that little bit of Unconditional love and joy that they bring

kristin: 31:15

all day, every day. Yeah, it's, it's amazing that the imprint they leave on you. I think they're part of your life to make you a better person.

Liz: 31:29

I agree. I definitely wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for my dog, Isabel. Yeah. Just a wild thought because they don't, you know, actually speak words. Right. To us. You know, and to think that like, another being can have such a massive impact on who we are as a person without actually saying anything to us. Verbally is just, you know, obviously we communicate with them in so many different ways, but.

kristin: 32:03

Oh, I, I love the, the care bear stare when they're, where you can just like look into their eyes and they just look at you and just, you're just like, Oh my God, this is the best.

Liz: 32:14

Yep. They know. they intuitively know so much about us.

Ashley: 32:18

Yeah. I, I've been meaning to read that book. That's like, they're, they're your, they're more than your sha I forget what it's called. But it's basically like, I'm pretty sure it explores how like your dog is a lot more of you or tells, says a lot more about you than you think. Yeah, I gotta look it up and, uh, I'll come back to all of you. But I, I, I don't think I was like, I'm like, I'm not ready to like. We're not ready to have the realness of that yet, or the

Liz: 32:47

truth

Ashley: 32:48

of what might be in that book.

Liz: 32:50

That's so true. You're like, I don't know. I don't need to know the truth telling behind that. Yeah. I know. There's a book called The Other End of the Leash. That I have been meaning to read that just explains kind of the history of dog and human relationships and behaviors and why they do certain things that they do as it relates to humans and not with other animals. But I know that there's so many interesting books out there on dog evolution and humans. They're just so smart.

kristin: 33:25

It's yeah. And they're so innocent, right? Like they just. There's no malice in them. There's no meanness. They just, they just make you happy. So you can have the worst day ever and you walk in the house and there's, there they are, our tail is going. They're super excited and, and you just forget about like all the stupid nonsense.

Liz: 33:50

Yeah, what was, other than obviously getting Violet, was there anything else that like really helped you in healing after losing Ginger? Yeah

kristin: 34:04

there was, once, actually, once I went back into going to the shelter, that really helped. I also invited any volunteer that wanted to bring a shelter dog on a field trip over to my house for the use of the backyard. So it's just nice to have a four legged friend running around and enjoying everything that Gigi enjoyed, right? Yeah. And we had quite a few characters in the backyard. That's for sure. I remember we had one of the volunteers brought over, uh, Flynn and he was. He got adopted, which was great. But he was a boy that was super sweet, but didn't know his own strength. And he was probably like a 75 pound, uh, pity and he was having the best time running around or, you know, I have, uh, all of the chew toys, all of the squeaky balls I have frosty paws so that they can have a little ice cream, like, and Flynn was just running, running, running, having a great time, and he rolled the ball into our pool. And both Marisa and I lifted each other, and we're like, what's going to happen? And he edged closer to the pool, and honestly, he looked at the two of us, and just jumped right in. Ha ha ha ha. And Flynn could not swim, so then Marisa and I are both jumping in the pool, like, in our, you know, fully clothed, sneakers on and everything, and I'm like, she's grabbing him by the collar to pull him out, and I've got his rear end, and I'm like, oh boy, please do not be upset with me, right? Like, but it was just that interaction that, like, I felt good because I was still interacting Dogs that needed love and care. Right. That might have been his first time trying to swim, too. It was and then then he immediately rolled the ball back into the pool and jumped in again. So, of

Liz: 36:14

course, he's like, I'm gonna get this down while I have access to a pool.

kristin: 36:18

And I'm like, you can't swim buddy, because he was going down like a sinker. He's just 75 pounds of muscle. It's not floating. Yeah, but it was that kind of interactions and like That helped me to, to move forward. You know, it just made me happy. It didn't, I wasn't sad when I was interacting with them. And that really helped out a lot.

Liz: 36:42

More happy moments. Yes. That's really great that you're there for the shelter and offering them an opportunity to do stuff like that. Really nice. Thanks. We love our shelter dogs.

kristin: 36:56

Oh my goodness, yes. And all my favorites just got adopted, so that's really good. That's

Ashley: 37:01

amazing.

Liz: 37:02

Mm hmm.

Ashley: 37:03

Not to distract from Ginger, but and obviously, you were just talking about how the shelter was such a seemingly an integral part of your healing is there, you know, obviously there's some realities of volunteering at the shelter, and I just wonder if there's some aspects of pet grief, or the grief of Ginger, or just grief in general that you know, You know, come up as a result of volunteering and things like that.

kristin: 37:31

Oh,

Ashley: 37:31

yeah,

kristin: 37:31

for sure. I mean, there are some, some wonderful days at the shelter. And then there are times when you just come home mentally exhausted because it is the shelter. You can't make it look pretty, right? And it just, it makes you sad. And think about, you know, like, so sad when those kids are there for a very long time.

Liz: 38:04

Mm hmm.

kristin: 38:06

And you can only do so much. You can only do so much. And you want to do more. Mm hmm. But you can't. And It makes you think about, you know, sometimes I'm like, did I do, did I do right by Ginger, right? Like, should I have, sometimes it makes you second guess is, did you miss something towards the end, right? Like, especially when you see some of the, the shape that some of these dogs come in, right? You see the, the bait dogs that are there, and it's just like, wow. Is there still a lot of that happening? In the, in Buffalo, yes, unfortunately.

Liz: 38:53

I keep hoping that humanity is gonna wake up and start to realize that like, exploiting innocent creatures is not Yeah.

Ashley: 39:04

It's terrible. I just don't think unless our until our like laws catch up with the fact that

kristin: 39:10

right,

Ashley: 39:10

you know, like they're a little bit lagging. I mean, some cases have been like successful to an extent, I guess. But, you know, there's, they can just like breed them like crazy, sell them for whatever they want, and then dump them if they don't sell or, you know, or use them for other things. It's just I don't, I don't know the statistics on like whether Buffalo is like worse than other places or anything like that, but it's crazy. I don't, I, I definitely was like rose tinted glasses. Going into volunteering like, I mean, I, I had like a healthy dose of like understanding of like, you know, it's, you're not going to just walk a bunch of golden retrievers, you know, like, yeah, yeah, we do get those. I'm not saying we don't, but like, you're, you know, it's not like, it's not, it's not always sunshine and roses. It certainly is a lot of kisses and a lot of love.

Liz: 40:04

But

Ashley: 40:05

you know, like they're, they're the way in which they come to us is, I mean, I feel like that was like the thing for me. Like, I knew they would be in like a state at times. But it also teaches you just how loyal they are. Yeah. Like forgiving. They, uh, loyal, forgiving. Like, how are they not? They just still love you so much. And it's despite this garbage human and how they treated them. But it, it didn't, it didn't bring a little bit of a different angle of where I would classify as pet grief in terms of You know, day to day, uh, day to day at the, uh, shelter and volunteering in this animal rescue world. You see a lot of shit. It's not just like our shelter. It's just generally animal rescue.

Liz: 40:51

I have not been volunteering at the shelter where I got Isabel on. I would like to. It's a little far from my house, so I need to try and fold it into my schedule, but emotionally I have a hard time with it because I'm an empath, generally, and for some reason, my whole life, I feel like I've absorbed animal pain almost more than humans, which is kind of crazy. But I, when I, my brother first adopted his his dog, Jada, she was a And she was just the most amazing dog. And after she came into our lives, I like, Dove deep into pit bulls and trying to understand like this, you know Non breed breed and why there are so many of them and I started learning about you know all the rescues and the dog fighting and everything and that's why I ended up adopting Isabel because she was a pit mix and I know that the shelters are overrun with them But I was at the time still a member of Facebook and I was just getting infiltrated with So much, like, sad, awful, like, abuse stories and dog fighting stories, and I really struggled. with that. And so I think part of me fears getting back involved in like rescue and shelter because I don't know if I can emotionally handle all the pain, even though the dogs are so resilient and like so forgiving and so loving. I have, I like assume they're in significant pain and they're suffering. And so I need to get over that because I know for a fact it's better for them that we're there, that you're there and you're helping them. Yeah. And they're not harping on their past. No. You know, they, they really can recover and heal so much, somehow so much easier than us. Yes. Yeah. They adapt, like. Yeah. Yeah. It's remarkable. It really is. I would like to be more like that.

Ashley: 43:06

I know. Yeah. I'm like, I need to be more like the dog.

Liz: 43:09

Yeah. I need to be more forgiving. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Right? Yeah. It happened and that's okay and move on. Yeah. That's just like how they live.

kristin: 43:21

Yeah. They do. They're the best. It's, you know, it's, it's so funny because, not funny, but it's, it's, it's ironic because they go through. Some of these kids go through so much, right, and half the time you don't even know their full backstory and sometimes you're better off not knowing because Yeah, it just you just want to help them and be with them now Not not because I truly believe they they can feel your energy and your aura, right? So when you get stressed or if you're angry, they feel that and they don't need that. What they need is Your love and your care. Yeah.

Liz: 44:08

Yeah. Is there, for anyone who is listening to this and may have just lost their dog or another pet, was there anything that you would find particularly useful for them or recommend for them in moving forward? For

kristin: 44:31

me, it was, I just needed to follow my mind and my heart. You know, you start reading about how, how to deal with the, the, with, with this type of grief and everybody has an opinion, right? Oh, you need to wait a year. Oh, you need to wait six months. Oh, you shouldn't get the same breed that you had. Like, and it's, it's meant with, you know, well wishes when they're trying to be supportive, but you really just have to say, thanks. But just discard what people are telling you and just go with how, what you want to do and how, how you want to move on and move on and whatever works best for you, right? There's, I mean, if you, when you find it, you stick with it and you keep going, don't worry about, you know. Just be you and

Liz: 45:30

that's really nice tune into how you're feeling

kristin: 45:33

Yeah, and just you know, always remember that the fond memories the great like we have pictures all over the house of Gigi

Ashley: 45:41

Yeah, and I'm so about

kristin: 45:42

them And at different stages of life, you know, puppy, the, the awkward adolescent where she looks, yeah. And you just look at him and everything, all the pictures, they, they still make you smile. I, I'm, I miss her, but I, I'm never sad because I know she's around and Uh, I see her, you know, I see her pictures that was the other thing when between June and October of 2023, I, I swore I would see her everywhere in the house, you know? Mm

Liz: 46:21

hmm. See and hear.

kristin: 46:24

Yes.

Liz: 46:25

Mm hmm. And Hear them walking.

kristin: 46:28

Yeah. And it was You do. And it was, it was, to me, it was comforting. Some people might think that's like, well, I don't want to go through that. But like, maybe, maybe you won't. I don't know. You know, everyone deals with it differently, but it, it made me feel like she was still around.

Liz: 46:44

Yeah. She didn't leave. Mm hmm. Until you were ready. Mm hmm. Oh, I think there's something there about, you know, a spirit being with you until you're ready to let it go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's really nice. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm trying to do is follow my intuition. Yeah. You know, don't let the noise tell you how to feel and think.

kristin: 47:11

Yeah. It's interesting when you take a step back, and I think this is, For pretty much any, uh, any situation or significant change in your life, people are always so open to provide you with what you should be doing. Oh,

Ashley: 47:36

yes. Yeah.

kristin: 47:38

And I really never like to use the word should because that's like you're telling somebody, right? Like you should be doing this or you should go and do that. How is that helpful? Yeah.

Ashley: 47:50

Yeah. Should. And just. Yes. And there's a third word, I forget. But definitely should and just, like, you should just take your advice yourself. Right.

Liz: 48:04

Mind your business. Exactly. Mind your business. That's right. Yeah. No, I love that. I think that's important for grief because everybody deals with things differently. So

kristin: 48:15

differently, right? There's no right or wrong way. Well, there's always a right way. There's never a wrong way to deal with it, right? Like it's, it's how you figure out how to move forward.

Liz: 48:30

Yeah. It's your story and your life. Well, I think this was a lovely conversation, Kristen. Me too. I would love for you to send us a couple pictures and email. If you would. Oh, yeah. For sure. Of ginger and violet. Oh, yeah. Yes. So we can see how cute they are, especially as puppies, ginger, or German Shepherds are. Oh,

kristin: 48:56

yeah. So cute. Some of

Liz: 48:57

the cutest puppies

kristin: 48:58

around. Gigi was, she was, uh, sable. So she, when we got her, she was all. Sable color, except for she had the black mask on her face. Oh my gosh, I love it. She was so adorable. And then as she grew, she got darker, but she was still Sable. She was 85 pounds. She was a long strong girl and Violet we call her a little potato because she's just like a tiny shepherd

Ashley: 49:32

I'm like, we need to get you

kristin: 49:33

bigger because you're too small. I need a big dog. I like her

Liz: 49:38

Oh, she sounds like a good character.

Ashley: 49:40

Do you have any final stories on gender you want to share before we?

Liz: 49:44

Yeah, one favorite story. I

kristin: 49:47

mean, the table was always my favorite because everyone called her the table dancer. They're like, how's the table dancer doing? I'm like, eh. But yeah, she she was also a very good protector. I, this one time she and I were in our yard, in our backyard, and I don't know what was going on, but somebody was, the house behind us was trying to hop the fence between the two garages and cut through to our street. Oh my gosh. And Ginger went right over and just started barking, scared the living bejesus out of this person. They turned around, hopped the fence, went back the other way. And, and then she just came trotting up to me so proud, like, look what I did. Oh my gosh. Love

Liz: 50:33

it.

kristin: 50:33

Well,

Ashley: 50:34

she sounds. Amazing. And thank you so much for sharing her with us.

Liz: 50:39

Yes. She, I look forward to seeing some of her pictures and I'm so glad that you, uh, you had a ten lovely years with her. It's definitely a blessing. Yeah.